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I'm tumbling into DVD box-set hell Staying in may be the new going out, but I've got to fight this urge to map out my evenings in 20-minute snippets of Seinfeld. Xan Brooks Latest blog posts Was Disney an eco warrior? Film weekly meets Coen brothers cinematographer Roger Deakins Exclusive clip: The Boss of it All Show all articles Full profile All Xan Brooks articles About Webfeeds May 2, 2007 2:38 PM | Printable version Seinfeld: by which I measure out my life. Photograph: BBCThere was a survey a few years back that suggested that people who wear bedroom slippers die younger than those who don't, as if the very act of slipping into them is a kind of dress rehearsal for slipping into a coffin; as though the road to the cemetery is not just paved but actively shortened by a life of ease, leisure and comfort. So far as I recall, the survey did not go on to chart the life expectancy of those who wear bedroom slippers while simultaneously watching DVD box sets. Did any of them survive to see disc three? I despise the box set, that corpulent 21st-century concept album with its gatefold sleeve, plastic display case and infestation of unnecessary "extras". I think they are the bedroom slippers of our time. They encourage sloth and cut us off from the outside world. They might even be cutting our lifespan. But I also love the box set. We have a complicated relationship, the box set and I. On beginning this blog, I fondly imagined that it would be about "box set etiquette". I intended to chair a wry - and possibly perky - discussion on the pitfalls of watching Curb Your Enthusiasm (series five) or Deadwood (series two) alongside your significant other. This would have focused on the unspoken agreement not to jump ahead when you have an evening home alone; the dilemma of whether to admit it if you do; yada-yada-yada. Somewhere along the way I was contorted by self-loathing, marvelling at what a prattling wretch I've become. It is a sign of the times, and I blame the box set. There's no denying that they make life easier, but is that such a good thing in itself? Compared to us, the TV viewers of previous decades were the hunter-gatherers of the living room. If they missed their favourite show, too bad, they went hungry. They were a hardy and stoic breed. Even the advent of video recorders demanded a certain couch-potato discipline. We had to programme the timer, select the right tape and then somehow shield our treasure from domestic invaders who might want to record over it. Week after week, we laboured to create libraries of our most cherished series, each episode taped back-to-back on one 180-minute cassette, like monks toiling over illuminated letters. No need for that now. It's all there, and glossily repackaged, from the complete West Wings to the infernal Friends episodes that seem to play on TV the whole time anyway to those obscure 70s and 80s make-weight serials you suspect are still no better than you remember them being in the first place (like Penmarric). In the meantime I estimate that a good 60% of my contemporaries have tumbled into box-set hell, with their weekends and evenings mapped out in 20-minute, or 52-minute snippets. Maybe it's to do with the onset of middle-age, when staying-in is the new going-out and the entertainment of previous decades becomes a kind of comfort food. Maybe it's part of a wider cultural malaise, in which our main frame of reference is the recycled fare we dredge up on YouTube or Amazon. Or maybe it is all entirely wonderful and I should simply stop agonising about the consequences. It's just that I can't get that slipper analogy out of my head. It nags at me as I sit on the couch, happily measuring out my life with Seinfeld episodes; 20-minutes into the box set, 20-minutes nearer the box. Digg this | Add it to Del.icio.us | Conversations about this post This entry was tagged with the following keywords: boxset seinfeld westwing Comments Comments have been closed on this entry qrter Comment No. 491649 May 2 14:46 Amsterdam/nld "Or maybe it is all entirely wonderful and I should simply stop agonising about the consequences." Yes. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] Kelme Comment No. 491753 May 2 15:24 Marlborough/gbr I'm addicted to boxsets and Amazon is my dealer. They know I'm addicted and barely a week goes by without them emailing me about their latest special offer, tempting me to feed my habit. The trouble is that as my family has grown, the time I have available for watching anything has diminished so I now find myself buying boxsets in the knowledge it will almost certainly be 2009 before I watch them. Unwatched on my shelf right now are Frasier season 4, Family Guy seasons 1 and 2, The Vice seasons 1 to 5, Star Trek TNG season 5 to 7, Dawsons Creek seasons 1 and 2, The O.C. season 1, The Wire season 3, Las Vegas seasons 2 and 3, Carnivale season 1, The Closer season 1, Bad Girls season 4 and CSI seasons 4 and 5. Even worse, I buy boxsets of things I've already seen on TV, like Battlestar Galactica, Boston Legal, House, The Sopranos, The West Wing and on and on. Why?! I guess I have an optimistic idea that one day I'll run out of 'virgin' boxsets and I'll then be able revisit all these shows but when you add Frasier seasons 5 to 11, Bad Girls seasons 5 to 8, CSI seasons 6 to 8+, Star Trek Voyager, Star Trek DS9, Las Vegas seasons 4 and 5+ etc etc etc, plus shows that haven't even been though of yet, I can't see any possibility that I'll be able to watch stuff I've already seen before the middle of the next decade. Argh! It's not a complete waste though. I'm something of a TV library for family and friends, so things aren't just bought to sit on the shelf and gather dust for years. I've been able to introduce people to shows like Arrested Development, Bodies, Six Feet Under and Battlestar Galactica and this is a good thing. Men and DVDs. I think there's something hunter-gatherer going on and maybe that's where my addiction comes from and why it's only got worse as my family has grown. Shorn of a need to physically go out kill food for our families, do we displace this primal urge by gathering ever-bigger DVD collections or hunting for obscure vinyl in record shops? [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] Alarming Comment No. 491790 May 2 15:34 Manchester/gbr Kelme maybe if you fed your family DVD's it would help make that link between caveman urges and media-obsessed 21st century man [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] DannyK Comment No. 491843 May 2 15:52 Bristol/gbr - ". . .happily measuring out my life with Seinfeld episodes. . ." - Seinfeld - So you're the one who keeps outbidding me on ebay! [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] XanB Comment No. 491888 May 2 16:11 Manchester/gbr DannyK Yes, it could well be me. Kelme You're right in that this surely has a lot to do with expanding families, expanding waistlines and the general malaise of domesticity. But I can't quite accept that I'm hunting and gathering this stuff for the benefit of those around me, much as I'd like to. I think my motivations are altogether more selfish and lazy. Ooh! Carnivale! [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] Elquesodiablo Comment No. 491934 May 2 16:31 London/gbr I'm a box set addict too. In my flat we have shelves dedicated to the things. I wouldn't have discovered the Wire, Veronica Mars, Gilmore Girls, Arrested Development, Curb Your Enthusiasm, West Wing, OC, Seinfeld, Oz, Romance of Three Kingdoms, Six Feet Under just to name a few, without the much-hated box set. As an ex-library student, I get as much of a kick from recommending and lending box sets as I do from watching them. There are still more I will chase, but I cull to even things up. I understand there is less of the collective feeling with dvds, you cannot talk by the water cooler about what happened last night, but with television these days, especially given the delays in anything half-decent the yanks dole out, who can blame us. The movement of story is at our pace with box sets, we can watch Laura Palmer's death be investigated over two nights, two months or two years if we choose. Watching with friends or loved ones makes our unit closer, even if the others are pushed away by it. And to be honest, with any really good shows, you should be able to remember and chat with people about the events later on when they watch it. This is what happened when the rest of england caught up with my watching of Lost. I say hunt down television, hump it's ugly little carcass and make little dvd box sets, preferrably smaller so I can fit them all on my lovely shelf of tv dreams. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] earbud Comment No. 492012 May 2 17:03 Netflix has changed my life (when I'm in NY). We don't watch live TV - too many ads and all that cliffhanger have to wait a week (or three if it goes to re runs in between) to find out what happens next. It's rubbish. I'm a season behind the office gossip but I don't care. I get to watch everything at my own pace and without annoying interuptions and the best thing is when Im done I send the DVDs back so I don't have the annoying boxed sets I'll never watch again cluttering up the living room. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] Kelme Comment No. 492020 May 2 17:09 Marlborough/gbr XanB wrote: "You're right in that this surely has a lot to do with expanding families, expanding waistlines and the general malaise of domesticity. But I can't quite accept that I'm hunting and gathering this stuff for the benefit of those around me, much as I'd like to." Oh I entirely agree. With affluence and modern living, the hunting and gathering has pretty much gone out of the window, the in traditional sense. However, that primal urge is still there and seemingly needs to be fulfilled, regardless of whether of that's to the benefit of anyone. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] ProfessionalPirate Comment No. 492076 May 2 17:54 Cambridge/gbr Everyday the same Seinfeld line comes into my head: "If you condense everything I've achieved in my life into 2 days, it starts to look pretty decent". It's bloody TV's fault. Why won't it let me live? [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] Carefree Comment No. 492251 May 2 20:55 I am the worst person for buying DVDs then never watching them, so I am avoiding box sets altogether. I've never really got into the long running serials like 24 (or deliberately avoided, more like), and as you mention, Friends is on TV all the time...so why bother with box sets? [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] mald2 Comment No. 492416 May 2 21:58 Auckland/nzl Yes, another victim here (breathes in to hide paunch). Having said that - the liberating thing about box sets is that they no longer handcuff you to the television schedules, so although you might end up with a couple of days of blissful box-on-the-box slothfulness, your entire evening isn't wasted by that *one* thing you like on between 8 and 9. That's one evening every week for 22 weeks or so if your poison of choice is American. Also, the fact that you can keep postponing watching something is half the appeal. Having the bloody things to hand, sitting shrink-wrapped on the shelf is one step closer to watching them; it takes the illusory pressure off, if you like and let you do other things: "You seen the last series of The Wire yet?" "Nah, but it's sitting there waiting for me, so maybe I'll give it a whirl when I'm back from the gym. No hurry." (reaches for remote). [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] joedoone Comment No. 492750 May 3 0:39 Manchester/gbr The fourth series of The Wire finishes on Tuesday, and there is only one more series to come, but in the meantime I will be tucking into the first three series on dvd. If ever a series stood up to repeat, concentrated viewing, it's The Wire. All those characters, all that lovingly created world, all those epic storylines where seemingly throwaway details accumulate huge significance like snowballs rolling down a hill, and all that room for characters to breathe and grow and change. As has been noted elsewhere, The Wire is written like a novel, and it's a pretty classic one at that. PS I had to laugh when I read yesterday that ITV is developing a two-series project based on The Wire. The idea of just showing The Wire is apparently beyond them. I look forward to The Wire meets Heartbeat. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] VioletV Comment No. 493227 May 3 10:17 Nottingham/gbr Surely we're missing a major reason why DVD boxsets are brilliant - you never have to bother with the 99% dross of British telly. A good boxset means you're guaranteed a good evening's viewing and not stuck with Holby City as your reward for a hard day's work. What's not to like? [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] VioletV Comment No. 493397 May 3 11:20 Nottingham/gbr Sorry mald2, you had pointed that out... [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] babytiger Comment No. 493689 May 3 12:56 I watched all seven series of The West Wing between mid-January and 3rd March this year. That's 155 episodes in just over six weeks. Including one day where I somehow got through 17 in a row. They are DANGEROUS, BAD AND WRONG. Also very addictive and great. Go figure. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] Berlin1989 Comment No. 493769 May 3 13:28 Stockholm/swe I am glad I found this group: My name is Berlin1989 and I am half way through the first series of Bergerac... [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] Raindog3 Comment No. 494113 May 3 15:05 London/gbr Berlin 1989, i see your Bergerac and raise you the Midsomer Murders... which I'm glad to see was as preposterous from the pilot as it is today. Mind you it did contain one cornflake-choking moment where a character referred to Nettles' sidekick as "a right constable" with the empasis on the hard c-vowel sound... [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] MetalMalcolm Comment No. 494240 May 3 15:46 Nottingham/gbr JoeDoone - You what? ITV doing a series based on a show that has never been on terrestrial TV? My god, I might actually have to watch something on ITV for once. Anyone got any news on series 5? [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] Kelme Comment No. 494390 May 3 16:29 Marlborough/gbr A cursory glance at message boards tells me season 5 will in the US next spring, so it's a year away at the very least for people in the UK. It's also supposedly only ten episodes long. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] joedoone Comment No. 494692 May 3 18:31 Manchester/gbr MetalMalcolm, the ITV project is said to be more "inspired by" than "based on" The Wire. It is called Liaison, and is to be written by John Fay, ex-Corrie and writer of the recent Mobile, which I haven't seen. Liaison will focus on Family Liaison Officers. It doesn't sound all that like The Wire to me, but "inspired by" is pretty flexible. I would have liked to see a straight ITV remake, with David Jason as McNulty, that bald guy from EastEnders as Herc, and Stephen Fry as Stringer Bell. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] joedoone Comment No. 494709 May 3 18:42 Manchester/gbr MetalMalcolm, the ITV project, Liaison, is more "inspired by" than "based on" The Wire, and the term can be pretty flexible. It will be written by John Fay, who wrote the recent Mobile, which I haven't seen, and will focus on Family Liaison Officers. It doesn't sound all that like The Wire to me. I would have liked to see a straight ITV remake, with David Jason as McNulty, that bald guy from EastEnders as Herc, and Stephen Fry as Stringer Bell. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] joedoone Comment No. 494721 May 3 18:50 Manchester/gbr Sorry about the repeat. My original post vanished into the ether, like a politician with your vote in his pocket. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] Stellanova Comment No. 495496 May 4 10:05 Dublin/irl Raindog3, I think I can beat you - I've got all three series of The House of Eliott. Beat that! Xan, you are not alone in measuring out your life in Seinfelds. My boyfriend and I are currently working our way through pretty much every Seinfeld episode ever at the moment. He works from home and keeps cheating by watching an episode or two when I'm out at work. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] Ger29 Comment No. 496397 May 4 14:48 Dublin/irl Twin Peaks is my poison at the moment. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] frogprincess Comment No. 497471 May 5 13:12 Boulogne-billancourt/fra 'Lo Xan. The way to deal with boxed sets is to buy them and then stash them away. Then, the next time you have a really awful bout of 'flu or whatever gets you laid up on the sofa with handkys and lemsips, you dig 'em out and use them to pass the time. I had a truly vile bout of tonsilitis last year. I watched 'Brideshead Revisited' from start to finish. By the time Charles Ryder had been converted to Catholicism, the antibiotics had kicked in and I'd got my voice back. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] frogprincess Comment No. 497472 May 5 13:14 Boulogne-billancourt/fra ... and Seinfeld is beautifully done. But were I to fall into the trap, the real poison would be Frasier... [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] pubbore Comment No. 498775 May 7 10:05 Middlesbrough/gbr Yes, Friends is on TV all the time (along with Scrubs, which is currently my comedy fix) - in some ways too much. You have no idea when the episode immediately following the one you are watching will be on. If you want to watch in order, to actually follow the story, you have to have the box sets. That's my excuse, anyway. That said, I am now 'over-Friends-ed' and haven't touched the DVDs in years. The box set family etiquette angle is interesting - I think you can tell you've found 'the one' when they'll sit through a whole series with you. I certainly knew I'd made the right choice when my wife joined me in my Buffy the Vampire Slayer obsession. She even came home with the next series the other day - I was so proud. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] quipu Comment No. 498964 May 7 13:15 London/gbr Great article. Thank you Xan. I thought I was the only one. I will feel a lot less guilt the next time I settle into the me-shaped rut on my sofa. The advent of internet downloads means that not only am I vegging on the sofa to shows that are currently available on dvd, but also to shows that are just coming out in the States as well. At the moment, I've just finished Season 1 of Dexter and Brotherhood, and am currently following the last episodes of the Sopranos. My life has become measured out not only by television episodes, but also by the download progress bar on Azureus. Can't say I hold much hopes for the "inspiration" that ITV is taking from the Wire. Most likely the only thing similar the two will have with each other is that hardly anyone will be watchin it either. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] OffClowns Comment No. 499014 May 7 14:18 The Opposite: an inspiration, never fails. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] Totus Comment No. 499990 May 8 12:27 Sheffield/gbr Great to hear from so many Wire fans here. If a show was ever designed for boxset-ism, it has to be that one. I got into it through DVD boxsets, and had seen seasons 1-3 without ever watching it on TV, as broadcast. Having since obtained Sky, and the resulting access to FX, I began to watch Season 4 when it started a couple of months ago. For several weeks, it did my head in. I was used to blasting through it in sittings of five or six hours at a time. Having to wait a week for the next episode was awful, but without a decent PC, I couldn't even download it. Eventually, I ignored it for a few weeks, and let episodes accrue on my Sky+ box. I then gave myself a serious mainline fix of Carcetti, Rawls, Freamon and co, and my love affair with Baltimore was reignited. I really think that The Wire has gone beyond simple broadcast TV, and is (I hope) a precursor of a new type of TV designed to be consumed as On Demand/Sky+ etc/DVD boxset. I just hope that we will see more TV of this calibre, but I am doubtful whether ITV is the company to pull it off. Now, HBO on the other hand...I still get a warm glow whenever I hear the TV static snow ident at the beginning of their shows. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] joedoone Comment No. 501483 May 9 9:07 Manchester/gbr So that is it for Season 4 of The Wire; bleak, savage, but realistic last night. One more season to go; in the meantime, FX is starting from the beginning in July. [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.] More TV & radio Watch thisChannel 4's The Human Spider certainly inspires curiosity, but the impact on the family of climber Alain Roberts (pictured) is neglected Radio reviewListening to Hardeep Singh Kohli hosting Midweek (Radio 4), you realise what a tall order the show is, writes Elisabeth Mahoney Your photographs Tony Davies: Tibetan Peace Garden, located in the grounds of the Imperial War Museum. Given the present events, it seems all the more appropriate Got a picture that would be perfect for the arts blog? Email us with images and the best will be posted here and in our gallery Song of the day Portishead are poised to release their Third album on April 28. The lead single, Machine Gun, combines a minimal staccato beat (natch) with Gibbons' haunting vocals. The original Terminator theme, anyone? The pollShould the BBC share the licence fee with other broadcasters? Vote nowView poll archive What I'm up to ... BidishaI sold my record collection when I was a tween and haven’t been able to build it up again since. Twice a year I buy a stack of CDs, get overwhelmed by existential nausea and give them to a charity shop. At the moment I’m listening to Ladyhawk, Santogold, Shy Child, Tegan and Sara, Hercules and Love Affair and the first Vanessa Paradis album. Guilty pleasure: Velvet Revolver’s video for Fall to Pieces. I’ve been haunting the South Bank during the excellent London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival. I’m interested in their selection of Su Friedrich works and the acclaimed Water Lilies by Celine Sciamma. Given that Madonna’s my ultimate leader of the universe, Sunday’s highlight is Desperately Seeking Susan. Guilty pleasure: The Other Boleyn Girl. Costumes, beheadings, here’s the script: “I love you, you’re my sister … I’d never betray you, you’re my sister … How could you betray me, you’re my sister ... I forgive you, you’re my sister. Clang! Thud." I’m obsessed with an anime series called Hack Sign on the Anime Central channel in the middle of the night. It’s about characters in a multi-dimensional role-playing game called The World. Nothing happens, but it’s weird and talky and melancholy and it looks incredible. Guilty pleasure: Bionic Woman on ITV2. It’s a limp, 20th-rate Buffy but I like the Faith-type character of Sarah, the defective "first" bionic woman. I’m reading Iris Murdoch’s The Sacred and Profane Love Machine, a classic combination of trenchant moral seriousness and bourgeois adults acting out their delusions in a cringe-makingly plausible way. Guilty pleasure: I can’t resist swords and sorcery novels at the lower end of the fantasy spectrum. They’re always called things like The Crimson Blade of Vengeance, Volume IV: Fall of the Burning City. My tip of the week: For those who didn’t luck out in the lottery to gain entry to the London Marathon there’s always the half marathon being held at the O2 arena on October 5th. It’s called Run to the Beat and there’ll be specially-chosen music to propel you efficiently towards massive cardiac arrest. Guilty pleasure: I work out while watching the fictional characters in films like GI Jane and Flashdance work out. Advertiser links Guardian Unlimited © Guardian News and Media Limited 2006 Registered in England and Wales. 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